in the train

in the train while he shakes in his move he shake my feeling make me just close my eyes and go deep in thughts about everything my past life how iwaste it and my coming life well ican use it or iwell waste it like before.and what about those people arouand me what they do what they feel and how there life looking like.getting deep inside human nature in there feeling and thoughts and soul its exciting things sad storys and happy storys.but why look for other storys ihave my own and some times ithink it can make many movies not only one.sad and happy succes and fail ambition and dispointing allot and many.train shakes and he shakes all feeling inside me make me confess to myself and shake my spirit to get what buried deep inside it.did ever anyone try to get inside blender and lets see what well feel thats what happined to me the train was like huge blender to me and bend me left and right and up and down and let me up to down that posstion make me through what was inside me and spare it infront of floor on my eyes to show me my truth my hiddin truth so surrendring person cant fight well and seeing his dreams dieng one by one with just tears come to drop on the witness of my wishs grave and see my hopes ships sail away of me so far maybe to land on someone else port to withdrow other hopes.ifind allot in what ithroughnidint know if iget shaked iwell throughn that ithought iburied it so deep under thousand of moments and minutes with allot and allot of what isaw in life and people imeet and thought iforget or at lest ipretend iforget but all isee now so clear brokinheart bleeding still for love and dispointing for homeland not like before for country was great and now just leaving on past reminding on family was strong but days broke it and make it more weaker than it takes for beloved ones go and forget the old days for me leaving some behinde and never back for more and more and more. now iwish the train stop beforemy heart stop.

fear

fear from everything and anything fear from the fear itself.fear embodied inside me become so huge till icant push it back and he keep squeeze me till he take my breath away and crush my bones and make it ashes my fear embodied like gignatic monster swallow everything in me in just few seconeds without mercyfear from future from past from live from death from what after death fear from people from what they do at me or what ido at thim.fear is snaking in me he is runing with my blood ican feel it moving stable slowly inside me with confidance that nothing can beat him with smell of vactory on me and waiting the moment iwell surrender to him and rise my white flag and declare im loser and cant fight him.when iwant sleep he never leave me to and say wahhh do u think u can no idecided u r fear person u cant sleep u cant live normaly u cant be happy u well never have stable life.when ilaugh he wont let me he dont want me even breath he is eating me a live he only enjoy when icry when im sad he is compinion with my sorrow never can seprate them a part.belive me itry fight it itry run from it to land of safity i try and try and try but ifailed like allot of what ifail in it in my life but at lest im infront of unbrakeable enemy ican surrender to him without feeling guilty or anyone blame me.but for some reason itry just try to fight all my life when ihave challange i accept and keep trying even if ididnt win this challange but itry so imust at lest try against that fear and idid try.and when im tierd from trying idescover that????my fear is from myself only.........

new year night

in this new year night remember to thank god for his bleesing on u for make u live till now for making u helthy. have enough money. have home. family.friends.and all that grace u have and remember other people all arouand the world whom havent anything from what u have.who die,wo is sick.homeless.orphans.who in war.whom his country occupid and he fighting for his freedom.who staying under the cold rain without cover.who cant find anything to eat.or cant find water.whom lost part of his body from the war or accident.whom dont have any of what we have.
who think only in himself he dont desirve the bleesing he have when god creat the human he didnt creat it to be alone or live alone or think in himself only.coz someday when he well die he well die alone.just remember all that in this new year night u well look diffrantly to this world and maybe that well be in ur intrest some how.

new year

few minutes and the new year well start so im writting this in 2 years hhhaaaa.in the new years hopes well born wishes well start dispointing well hell or putt it aside in dark corner repeting for things bad or good habbits well start and some well stop.people we lost and some other we win some we leave and some others leaves us.some dies and some born.money we spend and money we gain.heart get broked and some get healed.marrieg and love .sadness and happnies.dreams come true and some waits there roll.future we look forward and past we want bury.allot we see and allot we will see and maybe we will not see who know's.why people celebrate the new year is't coz its new just fresh coming or they say bye for the last year the one gone?why icelebrate coming year while istill dont know what well happin in it maybe it be worse than the one gone why ido celebrate new year means im getting more older it's year already passed and u more closer for ur end.its the nature that human fear of future of unknown from anything mysterious anything we dont know what well happin in it.so why we celebrate another year?maybe we do coz we insidly happy we more neer to end from this scary world right?

attack on islam

since few years now and everywhile we find attacks on islam some cartoons or some pics or charcaters all have insults on islam why islam only is't after9/11 or the reason is more than that.well some and its so obvious they feelt the danger of islam and how much he is spread and growing and thousand of people are converting everyday and that is the denger for whom controlling people by fake things by making them think they can send them hell or heaven as they want same as happining in middle ages when pops in church was selling land in heaven for who can buy.nowdays same people now and islam is so dengrous on them.who want the world live without morales or prencpales islam is dengrous on them.who call of globalzistion and free trade islam is dengrous on them.who want roll the world islam is dengrous on them.who want drugs and weapons and prostitution every where islam is dengrous on them.allot islam is dengrouson them coz that they fight it and attack it but with there dirty ways but no mattre what they do islam well stay forver.islam is religion for mercy for love for equalizem to free people from worshiping others than allah.and we muslims our religion learn us and order us to love other prophets and all his massengers and there masseges and we belive in christ and moses and all others no diffrance betwen all.and no muslim ever dare to insult any religion or any prophet or massenger co zwe cant its sin for us before it be insult for others and we ether cant accept if anyone insult any other religion or prophets.insultes is the way for weake baby u cant face something or someone so u insult it coz its more stronger than u.and since few years now we see allot of attacks and insults on islam and on prophet muhammed(pbuh)from people just is ignorant coz they dont know anything in anything they cant face islam so they use there dirty ways but no mattre what islam well stay strong and huge with the faith in our hearts with allah and for allah sake.this massege for all who post that pics and for all western people and comminuty do whatever u want do more and more thats well never effect the gretness of islam or muslims show us ur hater and ur black hearts coz we well face it with our blood and our white hearts full of faith and love for our religion and god allah promise us by victory and u promise us by defete and we trust allah and we waiting his promise and we sure of it.one day we rolled the world not by power we roll it by heart we roll it not by ignorant we roll it by science we roll it by in past and we well roll it again.we never force people to be muslim thats the diffrance we didnt use the sword we didnt burn people life to be muslim like what happin from the church in the middle age in the inquisition.thats the diffrance betwen islam and any other and coz that we dont care of ur hater so it more.just look in ur inside and maybe someday u can see the truth.( In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful,Say: O My slaves who have been prodigal to their own hurt! Despair not of the mercy of Allah, Who forgiveth all sins. Lo! He is the Forgiving, the Merciful. )

the last massege

my love..ipromise it it well be my last massege coz my soul well get out of my bodyand iwell leave life foreverin the last massege...iwell not blame u or complin from uand iwell not beg love or passion from uiwell not ask to see u or hear ur voicebut....i wrote to say ilove uin the last massege... iwell not draw my brokenheart hugs ur heartiwell not force u on word..ilove uiwell not ask to lightening the pain of me or hope ur sympathyiwell not ask to inhalating ur scent smellin the last massege...iwell close my eyes to stop the tearsand well open my heart to receive last wordiwell say bye with silent and quietnessand iwell swallow last farewell glassshall it be my last sadness glassesin the last massege...iwrote to u best wishsand send u full of sencer and faithfulland give u my love and longinessif i still alivein the last massege...ideclare to u that iloved u and adore u madlyand u didnt even bouther urself to wip my tearsiswear to u by allah and all swearsthat u never feelt my existence in ur lifeand u didnt fell my love and passionin the last massege...iwell ask forgivness from my poor heartiwell ask forgivness from my pen and letterscoz nothing in my hand or my command in that lovein the last massege...ilove u from my death bed

calls

when destiny slaps u so hard on ur face and u screem but cant find who answer u then its call no one answer it.

when others enjoy to alughter ur feeling and u screem and u cant find anyone hears u then its call no one answer it.

when u been through a battle and u lose it and ur hopes breakes and u screem inside u and u cant find anyone hears u then its call no one answer it.

when u feel that life moves and u standing in ur place looking to ur past and ur present and u cant find anyone feels u then its call no one answer it.

when u wish in life little dream its not impossible but he is lees thing from ur rights in this life and u find world stand front of u by no word iwont give u ur little dream and in ur battle ecstasy with her u cant find anyone stand and aid u u screem insidely then its call no one answer it.

when u get shocked from someone have great place in ur heart then its call no one answer it.

when others use ur heart kindness and ur forgivness then its call no one answer it.

when u care about somene dont care for u and see u in the farest corner of his life then its call no one answer it

when u feel upset and search of tender chest to hug u and through to him ur burdins and u cant find it in this crowded life and u see him busy of u then its call no one answer it.

when u tierd and tierd to rest the other one and u dont find thanks word then its call no one answer it.

u wounder from this attitude coz u always been through it and never find who aid u or stand by u.rightthats what happins...............

wrinkless of the years

years go from ur age o manand with there speed but she without increase or decreasecounted by every every detail in scales with the creator of earth and the sky allah the benefactor the giver of all good the most preciouso man life pages twists by age and after death pages twistes by actso do for that day that u well need point to higher ur goods accountquery??? did u take the chance?did u work on increase ur account?ur account from goods?this life a helthy female full of young.roads of open doors of charmsperfume fulled in bottles seducing the heartsdrug gives the years temporery coma its like timed bomb soonest well explodeo man get ur youth before oldness
obviating ur days space before it be crowded its all a days dreamsand snow well invading ur hair and years lancet his wrinkles on ur facepulses get weaker and moments corrosest so the green heart spring get dryis theres anyway any escape if the expected guest come to u?

heart warmness

wether so cold more cold than all past years we just int decmber and its like all people wearing all clothes they have ilike winter ido like it its better than hot stucky summer that makes me want get out of my own skin but ifeel so cold like frezzing inever feelt like that before ijust drink 2 glasses of hot nescaffe but no use ifeel so cold imust get under some heavy blanket oh the coldness still the same imust find away for warmness maybe some window is open and it gives that coldness itry follow where the cold come from and checked all the crom it was all closed fully locked like treasury iwas like injured lion in cage cant escape and just waiting for his destiny icollapse down surrendring and accept the coldness that ifeel with one hope that some mircle come and give me warmness again.suddenly ifind wheres the souce of that coldness it was so neer to me it was stuckin to me it was my heart oh i almost forget it but now he remind me by painfull way remind me by emanating the coldness in me itouch it feelt it find it like piece of ice why and how he is working like that how he makes me stay alive and living day by day do all past time he is like that? or thats new idont know but all iknow its so painfull bearly ican stand it.what make it like that and why whats his reasons and where iget feelings from if the heart frezzing?oh icant find feeling ilost it iremember now ilost my feeling in the crowded market of feelings yeh ilost them there and cant find them again this life is big market have everything u imagin and u cant imagin.so please anyone in this market find my feeling bring it back to me it be great favor for hopless man like methen iwant know why my heart frzzing is coz he build dreams and wakeup on reality ?is't coz he didnt fullfil any of his wishes or is't coz he is single bird cant reach his mate coz his mate want another bird want someone else yeh it could be this heart like heron bird sings while he dying.imust check it now ifeel the end is neer and ineed to feel all of me still here idont want lose anything even ilost everything already.iclosed my eyes and my hand sneaking slowly to my chest and try to find my hert pulse but cant find any pulse ok thats not big dealing it's appears that ilost allot more than ithought imust recall my medical info wheres the heart place itink its little lifter on the chest yeh my finger find soft spot it must be there and my fingers make there way in the skin trying to catch that runaway heart but they go deep and depper and cant find anything yeh its the place iknow my fingers there inside my chest and can even touch and hold my artery the heart artery but theres no heart theres space there the heart someone take it from his place and left his artery crying on him crying by blood coz there no tears my heart gone he gone when u broke it and smash it to invisible pieces so no heart any more and the space that gives me the coldness.........but he left me something the only thing is left for me he left me ur name engraved in that space engraved so deep and even time cant efface it from there he left me ur name and last words beside it ilove u forever and cant live without u my only love in my life
please give me back my heart warmness